rebellious new year train of thought

I really want to be inspired this year. Inspired to make things, do things, look a certain way, act a certain way, change. I've always had a mouthful of things to say but that doesn't really mean shit if you do nothing.

I feel like I'm just letting things float on, instead of living. I am living a life of habitual comfort. I've done the selfish deed already. I got myself a working, got myself driving, and got myself living on my own. But I'm still hardly comfortable in my own skin, because I know I'm letting so many things pass me by. I want to be places and say things. 

I want to express myself fully, and educate where and when I can. 

I want to feel more full of thought and of confidence and of pride and of experience.

Voting isn't enough, and being vocal about your opinions to peers who share your views doesn't has no valid affect.

I feel like we, the youth, have allowed ourselves to slip into some sort of blank complacency. Like all the battles have been fought and things are the way they are, but that's not how it is at all. Protest is good, but one is not enough, there will never be enough. We need a community of organized thought, but I feel like some of my friends will never be motivated enough to stop what they're doing, cancel their plans, choose a club or group meeting over getting high, sitting around, doing nothing, watching television. Not to say I'm innocent in the least because all of 2008 I let things get in the way of doing something, anything. Petty jobs, repetitive family functions, and bullshit hobbies and outings and "well, we had this planned..." I want to be someone, I want to be heard, I want to change and I want to change things.

And all this isn't just about politics or opinions, it's about everything I do. Things I wear and things I make or don't make. I want to be a whole and solid person. A more whole and solid person. I want to have 'statements' and art and art that makes 'statements'. I want to be myself, I want to be the world. I want to l-e-a-r-n and be engrossed in what I learn. I want to be an artist.

I want to grow into myself.