John Galliano

spring 2010 ready-to-wear

light

all my life, i've had an issue with neutrals. in particular, cream, creme, beige, very light brown, and any and all variations. up until this summer, i don't think i've ever worn it, but now i'm wearing it all the time. suddenly its creamy dreamy pastry puff to me, and i love it.

fashion icons pt 1

Brion Nuda Rosch

!

it's been like 40 days now right? oil just spilling out into our ocean, so much at a time, and it never stops, we can't stop it. thinking about it is so damn scary. it honestly feels strange, almost criminal, when images like this come up, and i remember its going on...it feels criminal to think about anything else. buying summer dresses, picnics by the water*, drawing in a sketchbook, reading a book, warm kisses, cuddling my kitten...all the wonderful things that happen lately seem dull and pointless when i think of all this gushing into my ocean, and the sea animals that are dying, and the blue blue blue water, all black and thick and sticky, like some filthy, lethal mud-milkshake.

fuck you bp!

lately i've been thinking about the beautiful things i've done and seen. i don't know how i got so lucky, that despite all the bad, there would be such good. i didn't have friends, and family was always strange to me, except for you. it's so odd that i can feel so connected to you, and hear your voice in my head, when only months ago i felt as if i'd nearly lost the only language you spoke when i realized i couldn't read a book in it. oh, the fear that rose inside me like vile and lava and all the hot and searing things in the world.

my memories of growing up are like jewels, each a distinct color and texture. climbing red rock in arizona, being on a boat surrounded by orcas in alaska, picking strawberries mountainside in maine, chasing witchstories in salem, staring up at a snowcapped volcano in washington my eye catching on all the blue, blue birds, blue flowers, blue, braiding my hair and drinking cold pineapple soda on a sugar-sandy beach in the bahamas. summers in new york city. the rest of the year in miami, with the faded pink flamingos in our frontyard, wearing green velvet and petticoats at christmas in 80 degrees, frying plantanos 24/7 and putting secret-ingredient-chocolate-milk-powder in the frijoles.

i remember changing the sheets with you, the linen fresh from the drier, smelling clean and warm to the touch. and i remember, when you got so old, i had to beg you to stop trying to change the sheets, to sit down and rest. i remember your name and your wishes and i remember the last thing you said to me.

i have it all, i just miss you. i miss having a home in you, feeling connected to the earth and to my family through you. i wish you were here, i wish you could live forever,

but most of all,

i wish i could remember you

really, really remember you

but all i have are these moments

but what would you say to me now?

what would you think of who i am now?

i wish i could remember you well enough to know.

te amo, e.p.d

summer has not been what i thought it would be. i have barely spent one day on the beach, and haven't even seen my new pool. instead, i've been devouring books and drawing/writing in a tiny sketchbook, and figuring out how to properly use PENCILS. it may sound simple, but its not so simple really.

this past weekend was really, really great. i hadn't seen my dad in a while, and he really loved his birthday gift...which was a vintage postcard of frank zappa on the shitter that i found in a headshop a little while back and put in a pretty frame. i was so happy to give it to him, because i knew he would love it, and its usually so hard to find something he'll REALLY like.

he made us yummy food, and me and lindsey argued like usual, and we bought floral dresses and short-shorts and i got something mint green and tulle(!). we did a lot of nothing, reading books, watching movies, eating strawberries, drinking guava soda, roaming the flea market and seaside shops. my sister found a little vintage chanel bag the color of a creamy pastry puff, but since she won't use leather goods, i got to keep it.

finally it feels like summer. now, hopefully i make it to the beach this week.

summer is good and bright

lots of art & $$ making this summer. i'm going to try and update here at least monthly, about art and literature, the inspirational bits i come across.

right now, i am laying in bed with my boycat & boyfriend, they're both asleeeeeep, and the cat is hugging my leg. i'm warm and safe, and should really find sleep soon. hopefully its dreeaamy sleep, because i need it. mmm dreams.